Carl's Fricken' Ninja Adventure Redux
by Joe Kid
Summary: Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Naruto, Need I say more?
1. Chapter 1

"Character speech"

_'Character Thought'_

_"Boxy Brown speech"_

**"Demon/Inner Sakura speech"**

**_'Demon/Inner Sakura Thought'_**

* * *

"Oh yeah..." Carl said sensually, his eyes never leaving the porno magazine he held oh so dearly. "Yeah, baby, take it off." His hands slowly crept down and as he grasped his blue sweat pants, a loud knock was heard.

_Knock! Knock! Knock! _

"Hey, Carl, wassup, buddy? Open the door!" _'Dammit, it's the fricken' cup again' _"Piss off, you freak! I'm busy!" This didn't seem to faze Shake as he just continued knocking. "But it's really important, something's happened!" "Dammit..." Carl whispered to himself, tossing his beloved pornography aside, he made his way to the door.

"Hey, Carl! What took you?" Shake inquired. _'Fricken' dumbass.' _Carl thought. "Just tell me what the hell's so important to take me away from Miss November?!" Carl snapped, Shake lead him to his car, or at least what remained of his car.

Ruined was an understatement, it was completely fucked up. He couldn't even make out the graphics. "What the hell did you do?!" Carl screamed at Shake. "Look, calm down, Carl. I'm confused too, let's figure out who did this together, remember, I'm a detective!"

Carl didn't look any happier, in fact, he looked even more pissed. "First of all, you haven't done any detective work for seven fricken' years, and second of all I wouldn't work with you if you were the last 'whatever the hell you are' on earth!" Carl abruptly left and slammed the door behind him. "Geez, what's got him in such a bad mood?" Shake asked to himself.

"Damn, fricken' cup!" Carl muttered. "Why the hell does all this shit happen to me?!" The Wife-beater clad man grumbled and went to pick up his porno magazine. "What the hell is that light?" A light, so bright, was shining outside of his window. "What the hell is that?" Carl opened his window, a decision he would very soon regret. "Wait, wha-" That was all he managed to say as he was sucked into the seemingly never ending vortex of light.

* * *

_Konohagakure no Sato_

It was a lovely fall morn, another peaceful day at Konoha. Uzumaki Naruto, a young academy student, was busily making work of his beloved miso ramen. Donned in his usual orange and blue jumpsuit, his sun kissed hair shining in the sunlight.

"Two more bowls, Oyaji!"

"Comin' right up."

The elderly ramen cook and his daughter busily started making ramen for their number-one customer. "Here you go." Without a word said, Naruto dug into his ramen, not even leaving a moment to swallow, just inhaling it like there was no tomorrow.

**BANG! **

Both bowls fell over and broke. Total silence overcame the small ramen booth, Naruto sat motionlessly staring at the spot where his beloved ramen fell. Balling his fists in anger, the young jinchuuriki snapped, "What the FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!" His scream could be heard all over the village.

Hastily making his way to the source of the noise, Naruto was angry pissed. Whoever interupted his ramen binge deserved a royal ass kicking, delivered by the one and only Uzumaki Naruto, when he finally arrived, what he saw shocked him. Standing there was a bald, hairy, over-weight and extremely angry man. Placing his hands on his hips, Carl was **NOT **pleased.

"Where the hell am I?!!" Carl screamed, anger getting the best of him, which was a pretty damn common thing for Carl to do. He then set his eyes on Naruto. "Now who the hell are you?" Naruto was taken back by the question at first, but then suddenly exclaimed, "Uzumaki Naruto, future hokage, dattebayo!" A raised eyebrow was his first response.

"Hokage? What the shit are you talkin' about?"

"The Hokage is the best ninja in the village, he makes all the decisions in the village and he demands all the re-" Carl cut him off mid-rant (A/N: I don't even know if that's a real phrase, XD)

"Ninja? Listen kid, I don't know what the hell you're babblin' about, but can you just tell me where the hell I am?!" Naruto sheepishly scratched the back of his head, and chuckled nervously. "Oh sorry 'bout that, you're in Konohagakure no sato."

"Kono-what? Listen, kid. Just tell me how to get back to fricken' Jersey!" "Jer-sey..? What's a 'Jer-sey'?" Carl rubbed his brow in frustration. _'Oh, dammit!' _"Jersey! New fricken' Jersey! It's a state." Naruto just looked even more confused. "In the U.S, you know? America?" The orange clad boy just scratched his head in awkward silence. _'Fricken' dumb asses, everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by a bunch of fricken' dumb asses!'_ Sighing in frustration, Carl got into his 'thinking pose', he would have to contemplate his next move very carefully, he didn't want to do anything stupid, lest he get killed, mutilated or skinned by talking trees again. _'Maybe the dumb ass can help me out of here, he sure as hell don't look dangerous.'_

"Okay, just take me to your leader, or whatever."

* * *

The Sandaime was not a happy man, stuck in a gruesome battle of life and death between a kage's worst enemy, paperwork, every brain cell the old Sandaime possesed was desperately screaming, _'Kill me!'_. Sarutobi furrowed his brow in frustration. _'Why the hell did I take this job...' _Taking out a kunai, he slowly inched the blade closer to his heart. _'Here goes nothing!'_ Just as the kunai made contact with his skin, the door barged open. "Jiji!" Sarutobi fell off his chair in surprise, is kunai sliding away to the other side of the room.

_'Fuck me.'_

"Naruto, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. This guy wants to talk to you." Naruto pointed to Carl, whose hands were suspiciously close to Naruto's neck. Spending 20 minutes alone with Naruto was almost torture, especially if you were Carl Brutananadilewski.

"Okay... hoka- whatever the hell you are, where the frick am I?" Sarutobi was taken back by his abruptness, but complied none the less. "Well, you're in Konohagakure no Sato, a ninja village located in Hi no Kuni. It's odd you don't know this, have you experienced memory loss of some kind?"

"No I haven't lost my fricken' memory! I'm from New Jersey for God's sake, what the hell is Hi no Kuni?!"

"Oh, kami, this is gonna be a long day..."

* * *

To say Carl wasn't pleased was like saying Satan was only an eensy bit evil. He was downright pissed. Ninja villages, Hi no- whatever the hell it was. This place was almost as fucked up as his old neighborhood. Note, **almost **as fucked up.

"Okay, so what was your name again?" "It's Carl." Sarutobi took another puff of his pipe and exhaled deeply. _'Carl, what a strange name.' _"Hmm, Carl, where do you hail from?" Scratching his ass, Carl said exasperatedly, "New Jersey, N-E-W fricken' Jersey!"

'_New Jersey, huh?' _Sarutobi stood up, looking out the window, a thoughtful expression plastered on his face. "New Jersey, I don't believe I've ever heard of such a place..." "It's located in America, the land of freedom, turkeys and fricken' hooters! You know what I'm sayin'?!" Raising an eyebrow inquisitively, Sarutobi replied, "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Carl just sighed in defeat. "Okay, hokage man, I understand now that wherever the hell I am, it's not fricken' earth, so can you just, fricken' show me a place where I can live, or something? _At least I finally made the move._" Carl said the last part under his breath, too quiet for Sarutobi to pick up on. "Hm, very well. Naruto, would you mind letting Carl stay with you?" Naruto grinned. "Sure thing, Jiji! You can count on me, dattebayo!" _'Oh god, I have to live with the orange freak?! DAMN IT!'_

Walking down the busy streets of Konoha, Naruto was busily explainig everything he saw to Carl, much to his chagrin. Resisting every urge to kill the blond ninja, Carl was very much regretting not having his shotgun on him when he got sucked into the, as he dubbed it, "Freak Hole".

"And that, my friend, is the great Ichiraku Ramen! Come on, you should have a taste!" Before he could make a reply, Carl was dragged into the stand, surprised by the strength the little bastard possessed.

"Oi, Oyaji! Can I have three bowls of Miso ramen?! Oh, and what do you want?" Carl just looked at him. "What the hell is ramen?!" (A/N: I know ramen exists in the real world, but I doubt Carl's ever had any of the stuff.) Naruto scratched his head sheepishly.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're from another world or something. Just have a miso." Carl was about to detest, but Naruto ordered another Miso ramen, before the poor bald man could do anything.

**5 minutes later...**

"Here you go, Naruto, who's your friend here?" The elderly ramen cook, Teuchi, inquired, a look of genuine curiosity on his face. "He ain't my friend." Carl muttered. "Oh, his name is Carl, he's from anther world or something, it's complicated, I guess." Teuchi just scratched his head in confusion, "From another... world?" "Yeff, hesh like really different and shtuff." Naruto said, face full of ramen.

Carl just hit him across the back of the head. "I'm different? Look who's talking you damn freak!" Naruto rubbed his head and chuckled nervously. "Heh, heh, No offense." Carl Just sighed and decided to eat some of his 'ramen' or whatever they called it, hey it was food, it couldn't be that bad.

"Hey, this stuff ain't bad." Carl started eating more, and before long he was eating at a rate that rivaled Naruto's. "Woah, thish shtuff ish fricken' good!" After finishing his bowl, Carl set his sights upon Ayame, Teuchi's young daughter. "Hey, baby. How's about takin' my order... IN MY FRICKEN' PANTS, YEAH!"

**SLAP! **

Next thing Carl knew, he was on the ground, face full of gravel, and a very sore, red cheek. "HENTAI!" Teuchi was struggling to hold his daughter back from unleashing her feminine fury all over Carl. As they say, hell hath no fury over a woman scorned. Naruto just stood there shocked and speechless. _'I had no idea Ayame-neechan could be so scary.'_

After a rather painful meal at the ramen stand, Carl was laying on naruto's couch, an icepack resting on his cheek. "Oh god, the pain." Carl didn't understand it, he'd been slapped plenty of times, and it never hurt this fricken' much. Were all women in this universe super strong or something? "Oi, Carl, It's getting pretty late, I'm gonna go to bed, I need to get up early to pull off this prank I've been preparin'!"

"A prank...?" "Yeah, I'm gonna paint all over the hokage monuments, won't it be awesome!" Carl just muttered something under his breath that sounded something along the lines of, _"fricken' idiot."_. Naruto put on his nightcap and bid Carl goodnight. "Yeah, goodnight... _Jackass."_ Carl said, muttering the last part.

_'Tommorow's gonna be a long day.' _

* * *

Carl was woken up to a loud, "NARUTO!". Springing up from the couch, he decided to check out what the little bastard had gotten himself into now. Running out of the house he saw Naruto, being chased by a bunch of weird guys wearin' the strangest clothes he'd ever seen.

Besides the orange jumpsuit that the freak wore, but he had gotten used to that. What really amazed Carl was the speed they were going. "What the hell? How are they goin' so fricken' fast?"

"Ha, ha, too easy!" Naruto boasted cockily. "Oi, Naruto!" Naruto jumped into the air in surprise. "What are you doing all of a sudden, Iruka-sensei?"

"What are **you** doing during class?"


	2. Chapter 2

_"Character speech"_

_'Character Thought'_

_"Boxy Brown speech"_

**"Demon/Inner Sakura speech"**

**_'Demon/Inner Sakura Thought'_**

* * *

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"Carl! Carl! Carl!" Shake yelled, whilst knocking on the door of the abandoned house. "Where the hell is Carl?" The floating packet of fries rose an eyebrow, "He's not answering? Not even telling you to piss off?"

"No, nothin'!" Frylock was worried, Carl usually wasn't this isolated. "Eh, who cares, let's go swimming!" Frylock was more concerned, "Maybe we should go look for him, we did use to detectives." "Who the hell cares about Carl, his pool's right there, come on!" Frylock sighed and begrudgingly agreed.

"Hey guys, me and Boxy wanna go swimmin'." Shake sighed in frustration, how did he not get the point? "Meatwad, remember what I told you? If you swim the Wolfman will get you!" "But me and Boxy really wanna go swimmin'!" _"Fool, you better listen to him before I cut you." _"Best listen to Boxy now."Complete silence took over the area, until, "What the hell are you talkin' about?!"

"_Fool, don't make him repeat himself!" _Shake just groaned, "Listen, Meat-" Shake was cut off before he could finish as a huge, bright vortex sucked them in.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Konoha**

(Most of the dialogue below was taken directly from the anime)

A tied up Naruto was currently being lectured by his rather pissed off sensei. "Listen, Naruto. You failed the last final exam and the one before that. You shouldn't be fooling around like that." Naruto just sneered and looked away. This just proved to irritate Iruka even further. "We're going to have a review test for the henge no jutsu! Those who already passed will have to line up as well!" Cries of disbelief filled the classroom.

"Haruno Sakura Going! Henge!" There in the pink ninja's place, stood a copy of Iruka. Iruka checked his clipboard and acknowledged the achievement. "Yosh." **"Shannaro!"**Inner Sakura cheered, "Did you see that, Sasuke-kun?" The young avenger didn't even pay her any mind and walked up as his name was called. Transforming into Iruka without a word said, Iruka commented in affirmative and called up the one and only, Uzumaki naruto.

"Naruto-kun, do your best." Were the thoughts of a certain hyuuga heiress. A cry of "henge!" was heard and there stood a beautiful, blonde haired woman, in all her naked glory. The only thing covering her private areas were a few clouds. The poor teacher didn't stand a chance as he succumbed to a massive nosebleed. "How was that? I call it Oiroke no jutsu." "YOU BAKA! DON'T INVENT SUCH A STUPID JUTSU!"

**

* * *

**

The Outskirts of Konoha

"Damn. What the hell was that?" Frylock looked around, checking to see if everyone was alright. There lay Shake, Meatwad, Boxy Brown and the obliterated remains of Carl's pool. Shake slowly stirred and woke up to a start. "Wha- Where the hell are we?!" His cry woke up Meatwad, from a peaceful sleep. "Can I go swi- wait, what happened to Carl's pool?" "Okay, look, we didn't do this, we never saw this pool, we don't know Carl and we were no where near it when it was destroyed, okay?"

"What are you talkin' about, boy, youse guys use Carl's pool all the time." "No we don't." "But... you do." "Dammit, Meatwad if you don't shut up right now, you're gonna find my hand far up your ass!" Making a move before it was too late, Frylock mad an attempt to calm both them down. "Okay, look guys, just calm down, wherever we are, it's not in our Neighborhood, and we certainly didn't destroy Carl's pool."

Shake was silent for a moment, having seemingly agreed with Frylock, until a cry of "It was him! He did it, I tried to stop him, but he just kept forcing himself on me!" "Shake, what the hell are you talking about?!" "It was Meatwad, I just couldn't stop him!" "What did I do?" Meatwad was confused, which certainly wasn't a hard thing for him.

"Shake! Listen to me!" Putting emphasis on the last sentence, he continued, "Whoever did that to Carl's pool, was not Meatwad, it wasn't any of us." Shake seemed to begrudgingly accept this put not without glaring at Meatwad. "Now, what's the very last thing you remember?" Frylock inquired. "Uh... swimming." Was Shake's _intelligent_ reply. "No, be more specific, what was the last thing that happened right before you blacked out?"

"Uh..." Meatwad interrupted "Me an' Boxy remember a bright light!" (A/N: I know it's supposed to be:"Boxy and I", but come on. It's Meatwad, he's a retard.) "Yes, you're right Meatwad, I do remember a bright light, too." Shake recalled what happened but still opted for a chance to make Metwad look like a dumbass, albeit making himself look dumber in the process, "Why are you listening to him? He's a ball of meat for christ's sake!" "Okay, Shake, then what do **you** remember?" Deciding to humor the cup, what was the worst that could happen? "I remember swimming and then..."

A long pause ensued before he continued, "It was him!" Before anyone could make a reply Shake was running as far away as possible from the scene. "Dammit, Shake, come back here!" But his words fell on deaf ears.

"Why do I even live with these Idiots again!?"

* * *

**The Hokage Monuments**

"Damn it. Damn it." Cleaning the hokage monuments was not exactly how Naruto planned on spending his afternoon, and certainly not with an Irked Iruka guiding him every step of the way. "You're not going home until you clean it up good." Iruka instructed.

"Not like I care. No one's waiting for me at home anyway." (A/N: I know he lives with Carl now, but even someone as dense as Naruto could figure out that Carl didn't really care about him.) Noticing Naruto's downcast look, Iruka decided to motivate him a bit. "Naruto..." "What is it now?" "Well if you clean all that up, I'll treat you to some ramen tonight..." The attempt worked, very, very well.

"Yosh! I'll do my best, then!"

* * *

'_Okay, where the hell do I go now?' _Carl was currently trying to find his way through Konoha, failing miserably. "Hey, baby, mind telling me where I am?" The woman just stared at the man, disgust written clearly across her face. "Don't call me 'baby', or I'll kill you." Slowly backing away in horror, Carl remembered a previous encounter with a certain ramen girl, _'What's with all the fricken' chicks here?!' _

His backing away soon turned in to full blown sprinting, while for Carl this wasn't very fast, but it was the best he could do. "Dammit, where the hell is that hokage place?!" His sights landed upon the hokage mountains that naruto kid was talking about. "Is that the orange freak cleaning those mountains?"

_**Flashback:**_

_After a rather painful meal at the ramen stand, Carl was laying on naruto's couch, an icepack resting on his cheek. "Oh god, the pain." Carl didn't understand it, he'd been slapped plenty of times, and it never hurt this fricken' much. Were all women in this universe super strong or something? "Oi, Carl, It's getting pretty late, I'm gonna go to bed, I need to get up early to pull off this prank I've been preparin'!"_

"_A prank...?" "Yeah, I'm gonna paint all over the hokage monuments, won't it be awesome!" Carl just muttered something under his breath that sounded something along the lines of, __"fricken' idiot."__. Naruto put on his nightcap and bid Carl goodnight. "Yeah, goodnight... __Jackass."__ Carl said, muttering the last part._

_**End Flashback**_

"Oh yeah, that fricken' prank he was talkin' about." Carl sighed, seeing a bench a few yards away, Carl decided to take a bit of a rest. "Oh yeah, my feet are fricken' tired." Cloud gazing wasn't the type of thing that Carl would do, but he found it quite relaxing. "Ooh, that cloud looks like some huge knockers, yeah baby!"

"That one looks like a plate of spicy wings." Carl sighed in content. "I could go for some of those now." Getting off of the bench, Carl decided to take another pass at finding the hokage's house or whatever. _'It's fricken' huge, how is it so hard to find?!'_

Looking around the busy village as he was walking down the streets of Konoha, Carl was fantasizing about Miss November, whip cream covering her most intimate of areas. "Oh yeah, baby, I'll lick that cream of ya nipples... ooh, that's some go-" Noticing everyone staring at him, Carl realized his blunder. _'Did I just say that out loud...?'_

**

* * *

**

With The Aqua Teens

"It was *Pant* Meatwad... not *Pant* me..." With that, Shake collapsed fatigue taking th best of him, give him a break he'd only run 50 yards. Seconds later Frylock and Meatwad had caught up. "Shake, what the hell is wrong with you?" "I don't know anymore..."

"Hey fellas, me an' Boxy are hungry, do we got any weenies?" Frylock sighed, "No, I'm sorry, Meatwad, we don't have any food." Meatwad started crying. "But hey, calm down, Meatwad, we can find some food!" "Really?" "Yes of course." Giving Meatwad his trademark toothy grin, Frylock knew he had calmed him down.

Picking Shake up, Frylock continued onwards, looking for any civilization. "Hey, is that some kind of town or something?" As they continued onwards, Frylock couldn't be any more sure. "That is a town, maybe we can get some food there, Meatwad." "Hooray!"

Making their way to the entrance, they were immediatly stopped by two guards. Whispering to themselves, Izumo and Kotetsu were more than confused. _"What the hell are these guys?" "I don't know, but they don't look like a threat." "No, but they look like food for Kami's sake.". _Frylock raised an eyebrow, "You know, I can hear you." Jumping back in surprise Izumo and Koetsu tried to defend themselves, "Oh, uh, gomen! Just tell us what your business here is."

Frylock coughed, "Um, you see we don't have any quote/unquote 'business' here. We're just looking for a place to stay and eat." "Do you got weenies?" _"Shutup, Meatwad." _Frylock whispered. Kotetsu narrowed his eyes, "are you, uh three, ninjas?" "Uh, no. Do we look like ninjas?" "Sometimes it's hard to tell."

'_This is gonna take a while...'_

**

* * *

**

With Carl

"There it is!" Carl, after hours of searching, finally found the Hokage Tower. "About fricken' time!" Opening the front door instead of politely knocking, Carl rudely barged in on Sarutobi working on his daily load of paperwork, although Sarutobi would probably refer to it as 'saving him from the evil that is paperwork'. "What the hell do I do now?!" Sarutobi scratched his goatee and got out of his chair.

"What exactly do you mean?" "I mean where do I work, eat and I can't live with the orange freak for much longer, I'll either kill him or kill myself!" Sarutobi chuckled, "Yes, Naruto-kun can be quite a handful sometimes, but trust me you'll get used to him." With that, Sarutobi took a puff of his pipe and then continued, "If you want a job, there are numerous fields of work in this village, what kind of job did you have before you came here?"

"I work out at the home." "Excuse me?" "I work out of the home.""So by that do you mean that you used to do all your work at your home?" Carl rubbed his head in frustration, "Yes, can I fricken' do that now?" Sarutobi took another puff of his pipe, then sighed, "I'm afraid there aren't any paying jobs here that you can do at home, unless you want to clean other people's homes." "Thanks, but no thanks, I'd rather kill myself then shove my hands up someone's crapper."

"Well the-" Sarutobi was interupted by a cry of "Hokage-sama!" "Izumo-san, Kotetsu-san, what seems to be the problem?" "These three people want entrance into the village, apparently they don't know about ninja villages." With that said Frylock, Shake and Meatwad stepped up. All three of their eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Carl!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or ATHF.

Note: Some OOCness in this chapter, but only really for naruto. (Don't worry he's not gonna be some emo, godly, mary sue with some massive harem. Trust me.)

"Character speech"

_'Character Thought' _

_"Boxy Brown speech"_

**"Demon/Inner Sakura speech"**

**_'Demon/Inner Sakura Thought'_**

* * *

"Carl!"

Carl was speechless to say at the least, _'Oh no, oh god no!' _"Hey, Carl! Long time no see." Shake said, oblivious to Carl's complete disdain for him. Sarutobi cleared his throat and decided to interfere. "Excuse me, um what are your names?" Frylock spoke next, "That ball of meat is called Meatwad, the cup like guy is Master Shake and I am Frylock." Sarutobi scratched his chin in deep thought, _'Such strange names, they're obviously from the same world as Carl, how interesting...'_

"It seems you know Carl here, do you know how you came here?"

"We were sucked into a vortex of some kind."

'_They got sucked into the freak hole too, huh?' _Were Carl's thoughts. The wise Hokage took a puff of his pipe, a scent of tobacco filled the air. "Hm, I doubt you could all stay with Naruto-kun..." Carl was silently praying, _'Thank you god, thank you god, THAN YOU FRICKEN' GOD!'_"So Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad can stay at the Uchiha complex, only one Uchiha remains, so it shouldn't be a big deal."

Carl started banging his head against the wall in frustration, _'Damn it!' _Sarutobi looked at Carl inquisitively, "Is there something the matter, Carl?" "Oh no, _nothing!_" Carl said, every word dripping with sarcasm. "Why can't they stay with the orange freak and I can't fricken' stay by myself?!"

A long silence ensued until, "Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Shake broke out in laughter, "Nice joke, Carl! You can stay with us if you want." Sarutobi raised an eyebrow to this and glanced at Carl. 'No! No! NO!' Carl mouthed to Sarutobi, nodding in understanding he said, "I'm afraid that's not possible, but Carl you still have to live with Naruto-kun."

"Just great..."

* * *

**Later that night...**

Naruto and Iruka were eating ramen and conversing about the academy student's earlier exploits. "Naruto." Naruto looked up at his sensei, the man he thought of as a brother, "Why did you do it? Do you know who the hokages are?" Iruka said in disappointment.

Naruto finished his bite and said, "Yes! The hokages are the best ninja in the village! They command everyone's respect and that's why I'm gonna be hokage too!" Iruka just stared silently as naruto delivered his speech. Silence ensued for a while as they continued their meals, that is until Naruto spoke up.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto said shyly, Iruka looked at him and grunted in response. "Can I borrow your hitai-ite, please!" Iruka laughed, "So that's why you took your goggles off!"

"I want more ramen!"

"Nani?!"

**

* * *

**

**The Uchiha Complex**

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Uchiha Sasuke was not a very happy child, 5 years a go his brother, someone he had looked up to and trusted, had massacred his entire clan leaving little old Sasuke by himself in his own revenge crazed world. But that wasn't what was bothering him right now, he had just lost his special edition of _'Ich Icha: Yaoi Paradise' _and woe befall anyone who hindered his search for his beloved man porn.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"Maybe he's not home." Frylock wondered, they had been knocking for 10 minutes already. "Hey! Uchiha guy! Let us in now or I'm gonna..." Shake stopped for a minute to think. _'Damn, what could I do?'_ "I'M GONNA GET REALLY PISSED!"

Sasuke sighed in defeat and decided to open his door, something he'd very soon regret. As the door started opening Shake looked at Frylock smugly, "See , it just took some of my genius and now he's openin' the door!" Shake boasted, Frylock just ignored him and set his eyes on the young Uchiha.

"Who are you?" Came the drastically monotone voice of Uchiha Sasuke, "Can you make this quick, I'm busy." "Um, well, the Hokage said that all of us were to live with you." Meatwad looked up at him and said, "You got a pool, boy? Me an' Boxy wanna go swimmin'." Sasuke looked at Meatwad, then at Frylock and then at Shake. _'Wait, what the hell?'_

Sasuke rubbed his eyes furiously, he couldn't have been talking to food items, could he? Taking another look, he realized he had been indeed talking to food items. "You're food..." "So what's your point?" Was Shakes reply, "Technically I am a drink! Not food, so get your facts straight!"

"How are you talking?!" Frylock coughed, "Look, can we discuss this a different time? The leader of this village, the hokage or whatever the hell he said, told us that we could live with you, okay?" Giving the young avenger the document with the Sandaimes official seal on it, Sasuke begrudgingly accepted.

"Okay, whoever you are. Just go choose what house you want to stay in, and remember, do not bother me." Sasuke said in a cold undertone, he desperate to go back to searching for his beloved yaoi.

"Okay, Neighbor, see ya tommorow!" Sasuke just grit his teeth and forced a smile, "Yes and I'll see you tommorow... _baka_." Saying the last part under his breath, Sasuke slammed his door shut and continued his long search. Frylock looked around and said, "Well, I guess it's time to pick a house, which one should we live in?" "We should get one with a pool, and a TV!" Shake said, "Oh and it should be cable TV, too." The cup added, how could anyone live without cable?

**

* * *

**

The Hokage Tower

"So how long do you think he'll last?" "Who, Sasuke or the fat guy?" "Both." The hokage was currently conversing with none other than Hatake kakashi, the famous or infamous, depending on your allegiances, Copy nin. With over a thousand jutsu under his belt, he was force to be reckoned with, so why may you ask was he engaged in such a trivial conversation while reading porn? Easy, he's a lazy ass.

"Sasuke, given his nature, will probably end up killing those food guys if he doesn't end up killing himself." Sarutobi nodded in agreement. "And I'm surprised the bald guy hasn't done anything to Naruto yet." Sarutobi chuckled, a quick temper and Naruto did not go well together. "So how long do you give 'em?"

"Hm, 2 days."

* * *

**Konoha Ninja Academy**

"We will now start the final exam." Iruka's voice rang throughout the whole clasroom, and immediately every students attention was on him. "If your name is called, come to the classroom next door." "The subject will be the Bunshin no jutsu." Not everyone was optimistic. _'It's the one thing I suck at!' _Naruto thought.

_'I have to do this' _Getting perpared for his performance, Iruka and Mizuki were at attention. Forming a hand seal, In puff of smoke a somewhat, shall we say, fucked up Naruto clone appeared beside him. "You Fail!" At this Naruto fell over, "Iruka sensei, his movements and stamina are good, and he did replicate." At this Naruto brightened, "Yeah, Iruka-sensei listen to 'im, he may be a fag but he's alright!"

"NANI?!" "Don't worry sensei, I accept ya', just don't go touchin' me." Mizuki wasn't very happy, but decided to restrain himself. _'I need him for my plan, don't do anything stupid.' _Iruka coughed, "Um, well enough with the colorful dialogue, Naruto, I'm sorry but you failed."

* * *

**The Uchiha Complex**

"Hey Shake, what are you doing?" "Just channel surfin' is all, there aren't many good shows here." Frylock was in the kitchen unloading groceries he had purchased earlier. "Hey what's on the TV?" Meatwad asked, "I'll tell you what's on the TV, the back of my hand, now come closer!" "Oka- OW! What'd ya do that for?"

"Shake, what did you do to meatwad?" Frylock asked, already knowing the answer. "Nothin'. He's making it up, right meatwad?" "No I'm not you hit m-" "Shut up! I was not put on this earth to listen to meat!" (A/N: Couldn't resist XD) Frylock sighed, clearly frustrated with the two's antics. "Listen Shake, just apologize for what you did to meatwad." "Yes, thank you Frylock, I love you." Shake looke at both of them, "Why don't you go make out then, if you love 'im so much? Gay boys!"

"Shut the hell up, Shake! Meatwad didn't mean it that way did you, meatwad." "I love you like a mommy, frylock." "You mean like a dad, right?"

"What?"

"You love me like a father, not a mother."

"You're a boy frylock? Well gosh I didn't know that." Shake laughed at their predicament, "Frylock sure as hell is a girl ain't he meatwad?" "Shut the fuck up, Shake!"

* * *

**Naruto & Carl's Apartment**

Carl was finally happy, yes the eternally frustrated Carl had finally found something to live for. "He, he, he! Yes! Free Cinemax!" Relaxing on his extremely comfortable recliner (A/N: I dunno If Naruto has one, but who cares, It's my story.) with a bowl of popcorn on his right side and a six-pack on his left.

"Yes, yes! Bring on the entertainment!" And with that the power went out. "Oh no. Oh hell no! This ain't happenin'!" Carl leaped from his chair took sip of his beer and a hand full of popcorn. "Okay, now it's Carl's time to shine!"

"To the fuse box!"

(Insert Batman music from the Adam West Years)

"What do we got here, now?" Opening the fuse box Carl started to fiddle with the panels. "Dammit, it's different from the normal ones." This was indeed a difficult challenge for our bald hero.

Will he fix the power? Will he Watch Cinemax? Will his Popcorn go cold? Find out this and more, next time, on Carl's Fricken' Ninja Adventure!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or ATHF.

Yay! I'm not dead, just lazy. Here's the latest chapter of CFNA, enjoy. And don't flame or you'll kill Mr. Bubbles. Oh, also thanks for the reviews.

Also some OOC on sasuke's part, and if you think it's bashing, then you're a homophobe.

"Character speech"

_'Character Thought' _

_"Boxy Brown speech"_

**"Demon/Inner Sakura speech"**

**_'Demon/Inner Sakura Thought'_**

* * *

"Goddammit!"

A small rock skidded across the empty street, now obscured by the shadow of an uncharacteristically sullen ninja, known as Uzumaki Naruto. "Stupid Iruka-sensei." "He acts like I'm the one who gave him herpes." "Iruka has... herpes?" Snapping out of his train of thought, Naruto turned around to face none other than Mizuki, an academy sensei/jealous friend/traitor/closet homosexual. "HEY! I AM NOT GAY!" "Mizuki-sensei, who are you talkin' to?" "That asshole of an author, writing about how I'm gay and stuff, IT HURTS MY FEELINGS!" Naruto, let's just say was concerned, "Mizuki-sensei... are you, well, on somethin'? Like acid?" Receiving nothing but a grunt for a response, Naruto changed the subject. "What did you come here for, sensei? The nudie bars?" "Well I-" "No, wait sorry, I meant the 'Men's Only" ones over there." Naruto said innocently, pointing to konoha's token gay bar.

_'This is gonna be a long night.' _"Listen, Naruto. I came to offer you another chance to pass the genin exam." "Really? It isn't just a chance to get me to steal a forbidden scroll, in which you can use to gain lots o' power and I learn a new move from and get punished for inadvertently letting you defect? Because Iruka-sensei warned me 'bout that." Mizuki was speechless, _'You gotta be shitting me.'_

"Uh, well essentially yes... but uh, this is a magic scroll!"

"WOW! I'm sold!" Naruto dashed off at impressive speeds, out of sight within seconds. Mizuki snickered, "Well, that was easy." It wasn't until later that night that Mizuki realized he forgot to tell Naruto the instructions.

"Oh Goddammit!"

* * *

**Uchiha Complex**

"Mr. Bubbles, I'm home!" There were very few things Sasuke looked forward to, The latest yaoi icha icha, playgirl periodical releases and coming home to his beloved kitten, Mr. Bubbles. "Oh, looks like you got an owie there Mr. Bubbles, you want me to kiss it?" Some say that if you look into the eyes of a cat, it will pierce through even the fiercest of men's souls and kills them. Those people are fucking morons. "Meow." "There you go, Mr. Bubbles, all better. Now let's go make some tea and snuggle up for the Gilmore Girls." Mr. Bubbles eyes glowed in delight. "Yes, Gilmore Girls!"

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Hey, jackass! Pipe down in there I'm trying to watch TV!" Sasuke clenched his fists in barely controlled rage, _'It's the Cup..'_. Marching down the halls and making his way to the door, Sasuke was gonna teach this food item a lesson. "Listen you, I really do-" "Yeah, yeah, great. I don't care. Just shut up and let me watch T- Hey are those chocolates?" "Ugh. Hai, they're expensive swiss chocolates, they're a great delicacy and I'd appreciate it if y- What the hell are you doing?!"

The sight was not pretty, Shake was face first in the chocolate inhaling every trace of sugar and coco, devouring the treats in seconds. "You just ate my chocolate." "Now listen, kid. I didn't eat your chocolate, but I'm a detective, so I can find out who the culprit is... for a price. Heh heh heh."

(SCENE DELETED, DEEMED TO GRAPHIC FOR A T RATED STORY)

"Hey, Shake, what happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

* * *

**Naruto's Apartment**

Carl was pretty happy around now, a beer in one hand a remote in the other, he had finally found a way to fix the fuse box and found himself quietly relaxing and watching the Lingerie Football game. "Damn they haven't even gotten started on the season yet on earth, kick ass!"

Carl took a sip of his beer and turned the volume up. "Oh Baby, this is the best day of my life! A Six-pack, ramen and chicks playin' football in there underwear! YES!"

_2 Hours later..._

"Oh, boy. I'm hungry." Carl looked through all the cupboards and found nothing. "Dammit! I shouldn't have eaten all that ramen, WHY THE HELL DO YOU TASTE SO GOOD?!" A book caught Carl's eye, "Hm, Chinese Takeout, yum yum!" Looking up the number as quick as he could, he took a double-take "Uh, what the hell?" Apparently Carl does not know kanji.

Poor Carl.

* * *

**That Forest/Shed place where Naruto uses the forbidden scroll**

"Okay, let's see here... uh, words, words KA-GE-BUNCH-BUNSH-BUNSHIN!" Naruto gave himself a pat on the back for his achievement. "Uh, what the hell does that do?"

_3 Hours Later_

"Oh! So that's why it's called shadow clone! I get it. This sure is hard."

_2 More Hours Later_

"NARUTO! What the hell are you doing?!" "Huh? Iruka-sensei, I passed I learned a new move so I can become a ninja now!" "Naruto what are you talking about?" "Well Mizuki-sensei said that if I steal this magic scroll, learn a move, give it back to him and let him escape and defect from the village, I can become a real boy! I mean ninja." Iruka sweat dropped, "Naruto what did I tell you about this situation before?" "But sensei! This is a **magic **scroll!" Iruka looked surprised, and didn't feel shy about showing it. "Really?" "Yeah, really." "Well then that's alright, just be back home and don't get too close to Mizuki, he has AIDS." Mizuki coughed at this, "Hey! I'm right behind ya' herpes boy!" GASP! "Naruto, you promised you wouldn't tell!"

"Ehehehehehe... gomen sensei...?"

* * *

**Naruto's Apartment**

"Hey Carl, I'm back!" Naruto yelled, "Oh great I was just so worried about 'ya. What the hell do you want?" "I just came back to my apartment that's all, what're 'ya eatin'?" "Nothing for you, so don't ask." Naruto scratched his forehead, then shrugged. "Whatever, I'll just make some ramen." "Oh, about 'dat, I kinda ate all the ramen there 'cause it tastes good. No harm no foul." The aura radiating around Naruto was like none other, even Kyuubi himself would tremble in fear from such a fearful presence.

"No one eats **MY **Ramen!!!"

"Oooooh jeez."

* * *

**The Uchiha Complex**

"You know, Mr. Bubbles, I think today was an eventful day."

"Meow."

"Yeah. I became a genin, we got to watch Gilmore girls, I kicked that Cup's ass and Naruto, uh, what the hell happened to Naruto anyway?"

* * *

**With Naruto**

"SAY UNCLE!!!"

"OH, JESUS! UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!"

* * *

**Sasuke**

"Brr. Sorry I asked." Sasuke gently stroked his beloved Mr. Bubbles and smiled softly at his purrs. "Let's just hope tomorrow will be even better." Sasuke yawned, "Well, goodnight my sweet prince." "Meow."

And with that the end of the day came, but not for one new kunoichi for she had witnessed this whole touching scene, she was known as Haruno Sakura. Famous Sasuke Fan girl/Molester, but that my friends is a story for another day.

"Sakura...? What the-"

Anyone awake would have heard the ear piercing screams throughout Konoha. Unlucky bastard.


End file.
